I am still shocked over a news I found out yesterday about a former college colleague of ours who died this week by committing suicide. It’s only 2 entries apart from my posting about the death of my cousin and I know my blog is going to become depressing, but I feel so sad about the news that I wanted to write it down. I didn’t know her very well before, we spoke a little during college, shared the same classes and went to a couple of parties together, but she was a person you could not not notice. Very bright, loud and joyful with that specific intelligent sparkle in her eyes. It’s so sad that she’s already gone without having enough time to show the world her brightness and intelligence.
I didn’t know before because we didn’t stay in touch at all, but she had a blog, parts of which I read yesterday. Really interesting writing, she was so very talented. I think a good part of it was written during her depression years, it is about her battle and it feels a bit depressing or maybe it is like that because we know she’s not here anymore and because her life’s end was so tragic, she lost the battle.
Rest in peace Ana, http://afreuda.wordpress.com
I wanted this post to be about her and about the disease that I dread so much and that doesn’t have merely enough awareness – depression. And about the way people look (judge) at other people who are affected by this disease.
You see, Ana was studying psychology during her last years, almost her entire blog is about this. Would you think that a shrink would be able to commit suicide? You wouldn’t expect that a girl who studies psychology would be able to be depressed, right? But would you expect a doctor that treats cancer patients, to get cancer? That of course it can happen, cancer can affect anyone.
And depression can affect anyone. It is a disease. It’s not a choice.
She knew she was sick, she didn’t see it like something was wrong with her, she was still the same person as before, but suffering from this disease.
Her blog describes very well the way she felt and the pain that felt almost physical. It was like her brain was defected, she knew it was defected and that she has to fight it, but she just couldn’t control it. She took medications, consulted doctors and shrinks. She did everything.
What I am the most annoyed with is the way people look upon this disease.People that think it’s just a sign of weakness and if you “quit being stupid” you could easily snap out of it. Can you do that with cancer? WTF.
And the way people look upon the ones who die by committing suicide. Like it is a sin. Well, taking the word “sin” literally is a sin, but that is wrong. Depression is not a choice and thus taking your own life because you were affected by depression is not a choice. Why should this be a sin? Why should you condemn anyone because he was sick? Isn’t this just another discrimination created by old narrow minds?
