I decided to write this post because I was searching for something to direct to some of my friends from abroad who are coming to my wedding, but I couldn’t find anything that would apply to more contemporary weddings in Romania.
I think the first thing worth mentioning is that weddings in Romania are big compared to other weddings. I think 120-150 people attending a wedding is very common. Once I attended a wedding of 400 people. I guess nothing can surpass the Indian weddings ( with 500 to 1500 people invited) but still it’s quite a lot of attendees.
I also have to mention that I am not 100% Romanian, I am Aromanian or Macedo-Vlach (see here for more details) and thus we have slightly different traditions.
Romanians/Aromanians are orthodox and the Orthodox church only officiates the religious ceremony. To actually sign the wedding certificate you have to go to the city hall. Most of the couples do the city hall thing in the same day with the wedding just before going to the church. We preferred to not make a big fuss of this city hall event (which is usually held in a cold office like room somewhere at the city hall – not really the place to hold a party or come with 50 people after you). We did it 5 months before the actual wedding and went only with my sis and our parents.
Here is the video: http://www.vimeo.com/9257899
The weddings take usually place on a Saturday. The groom and his family are the drivers of all the events. They start the day by going to the Godparents’ house to honor them. The Godparents are a couple (usually it has to be a married couple) who are the protectors of the couple, they should guide them. The church demands that you have Godparents when you get married. Nowadays couples that are not married are sometimes allowed also.
After going to the Godparents’ house, the groom, his family and the godparents go together to the bride’s house. It is there when the groom and the bride meet for the first time that day. The groom gives the wedding bouquet to the bride, the bride says goodbye to her house and they all go to church together. For the couples that have the city hall ceremony in the same day, before going to the church they will stop by the city hall.
The groom enters the church at the Godmother’s arm and the bride at the Godfather’s arm. The first in the church are the made of honor and best man who are holding the wedding candles.
The church ceremony is very beautiful, it is now that the groom and bride are crowned and their wedding bands are put on their fingers. However the church ceremony doesn’t involve the usual wedding vows that the Catholic weddings have. The bride and groom don’t speak during the wedding ceremony. It is a very beautiful ceremony especially if the church is an old one with a choir. The paragraphs read during the ceremony though are still very old, they still mention that the bride has to obey the groom … :) Like that would ever happen nowadays :)
After that, there comes the reception which usually starts around 8 in the evening and lasts until around 5 in the morning or earlier but usually not earlier than 3am. Sometimes between the church ceremony and reception, the couple goes for a photo session and the other party attendants can go to change into a more formal attire. In our case there wasn’t any photo session between the church and reception, we all went straight to the reception.
At the reception, 4 courses are served usually plus desert – the wedding cake. Romanians drink a lot so expect a lot of good wine and other alcohol.
The receptions have usually bands or DJ’s. Romanians and Aromanians dance a lot of hora’s, which is a synchronized dance into a circle with everybody holding their hands. It can get to very fast speeds and it is very much fun.
The dance is usually opened by the bride and groom with a waltz or any other dance of their choice. Then the godparents and parents join. And then everybody else.
At some point during the reception, some of the bride’s friends will kidnap her and the groom has to pay a ransom for her. This consists usually in the groom holding a speech, doing a dance or singing (putting himself in all sorts of embarrassing situations basically :) )
There some more traditions like the taking of the bride’s veil off and putting on a hat or scarf, flower etc, tradition which would symbolize the fact that she is not a bride anymore but a wife. This is done at the end of the event. However not too many people hold this tradition anymore. I didn’t. I didn’t even have a veil :)
There is also the throwing of the bouquet, also at the end of the event. When the previous tradition is held, then the veil of the bride would go to the girl that caught the bouquet.
Another tradition which I think is borrowed from the Americans is the one where the groom gets off the bride’s garter … with his teeth. Some striptease song on the background for that as well. This event wasn’t part of our wedding, but there are still people who do it.
Another custom which I completely forgot about was the one where the bride writes on her shoe soles the names of her single girl friends. At the end of the night whose name is erased from the sole, means she’s gonna get married.
I hope I covered most of the traditions that are still kept. I have omitted some Aromanians traditions, but for that I will follow up in another post.
Anyway, if you have any questions or would like more details, just leave me a comment on this post.
Until next time…
Glam glam!
